Don't know if I should help or euthanize you. Crazy, Stupid, Love
My wife is having an affair with David ...
David Lindhagen.
... Lindhagen.
David Lindhagen, I know. How do I know that?
I don't know.
I'm a total stranger. How would I know something that intimate about your life? Do you wanna know why I know that Cal?
Okay.
Because it's all that I've heard Cal, for the past two nights. It's all anybody has heard. You're going around and you're like batchering people with this sad, sad loser sob story and I don't understand why.
You know, I don't need this crap.
No, sit down.
Alright.
Look, I know it sounds harsh. But it's true. And you need to hear the truth. So. Permission to speak candidly sir.
Uh, I think you've already gotten there.
You're sitting there with a Supercuts haircut. You're getting drunk on watered down vodka cranberries like a fourteen-year-old girl. And you're wearing a 44 when you should be wearing a 42 regular. Honestly, I don't know if I should help you or I should euthanize you. Cal, you got a kind face. You got a good head of hair. You seem like a nice guy. I wanna help you. I'm gonna help you rediscover your manhood. Do you have any idea, like where you lost it?
A strong case could be made for 1984.
